Judy Richter

Okay, I’m now working on a final (yeah, right) deep dive to enrich and layer my characters even more (gasp), so now I’m working on my antagonist in Pura Vida. He’s gotta be a really bad dude dressed in celestial clothing. But authentic, right?  Otherwise, my protagonist would have been a fool to marry the guy, and then what’s the point of the whole story? 

I know what a narcissist looks like, from too many personal experiences. But as I read up on the matter, I learned that there are narcissists, and then there are malignant narcissists. Holy shit! The malignant modifier takes that pathology to a whole new extreme: malevolence (obviously), angry outbursts, irritable/defensive behavior, a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need to be right at all costs, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration. 

Wow, I’ve got my antagonist. A first-rate gaslighter! In retrospect, I’ve got plenty of experience dealing with this type of personality disorder, from my showbiz days in Hollywood to my time producing six- and seven-figure national events. The one thing I learned early on with these psychos was that the more zeroes were involved, or the higher the stakes, the more extreme the behavior. 

I’ll never forget the whack-job who tried to steal our business a decade ago while representing himself as a filthy rich entrepreneur/investor with all kinds of over-the-top degrees and titles, none of which turned out to be true. But boy, he could charm the pants off anyone with his charismatic confidence, at least for the short term. Whenever we needed money for some business expense, he always had an excuse. He was traveling, or his financial guy was processing the request. There was always an excuse, but never any money. 

Then one night, he made his move. His dramatic attempted coup, complete with a gun-toting, big-haired Texan babe, is worthy of a C-grade TV movie. Maybe I’ll write about that someday, but for now, I’ve gotta deal with this fictional literary character who gaslights his wife and manipulates her in order to steal her money. It all culminates in a narcissistic psychotic breakdown. Yes, that’s a real thing, I learned. So the antag’s NP breakdown is when the party gets started.  

For me, in real life, I’ve learned to duck and cover whenever I get even a whiff of an MN in my personal sphere. I can smell them a mile away, heightened by my hyper-sensitive empathic instincts. It’s hard for me to protect myself, but I’m getting better. I’ve learned to accept that they will not change, so it’s on me to disengage and focus on positivity and my love for K and my four fur babies. And the beautiful country that we have chosen to retire in. The experts on the matter also advise protecting your boundaries, legally if necessary, and if all else fails, go see a shrink. My therapy is in the vibrant jungle that surrounds me. Pura vida.

Funny thing, though. I’ve noticed that narcissists tend to gather like moths to a flame, gaining strength in their numbers to protect their fragile egos and avoid acknowledging any perceived flaws or wrongdoings. What a horrible and toxic dynamic to perpetuate…sounds vaguely familiar…like someone living in that big white house up north. The mantra: Deny, Dismiss, Devalue and Divorce. If decency and compassion don’t take a stand soon, the world may self-destruct. But the guy with his finger on the button was right, right? Even when he was wrong, right? 

Que Dios nos proteja a todos.