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  • I’ve come to talk to you again…forcing myself to sit upright and strain to focus my consciousness towards the light, even if it is just for a moment. I used to think that saving the best for last was a good thing.  Now I understand better than ever the theory of relativity. This last round…

  • As my sixth and FINAL round approaches, I am conflicted with so many emotions. This is definitely going to be the ending of the worst (ever!) phase of chemo.  There is no sugar coating it. Chemo sucks.  Part of me is so tired and sick of being sick and tired, that I’d like to pack…

  • As the darkness slowly recedes, I realize just how close to the end I am.  Next Wednesday is my sixth and FINAL round of chemo. Technically, chemo is not the end of the journey, but it is the end of the worst part of the journey.  I am already scheduled to see the radiologist to…

  • So much pain, suffering and tears in the Darkness…it’s hard to believe it will ever end, even when you know in your heart of hearts it will. I have finally achieved an upright position in bed today, with much gratitude and certainty that I will soon be up and about again. I learned some astonishingly…

  • Well, I can, with certitude, say it is in Arizona.  It was an absolutely gorgeous, balmy, sunny day today.  I took the “day off”, so to speak, and headed for the hills for some one on one time with Mother Nature.  I always feel 1000% better when I do, and I wanted to really charge…

  • I feel like I hit the trifecta. Almost. Last night was a superb night with H…we both felt that it was the best night we have had together, maybe ever. At least in recent memory, chemo brain notwithstanding. And yes, it was topped off with an ooey, gooey souffle au chocolat!  Today we met with…

  • Doesn’t it sound so normal, so sweetly romantic and almost a weekly routine?  It is amazing how many simple things we take for granted when we have our health.  Tonight H and I are going out to dinner at Roy’s, one of our all time fave restaurants, to celebrate Valentine’s Day, our Tenth Anniversary and…

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    I got such a lovely email yesterday from an old friend that it literally jolted me out of my self indulgent wallow on the dark side.  I am back to my “the best that it gets” phase of chemo, and I need to celebrate the positive, every singly minute of it!  So, I immediately poured…

  • Coming up for air, light and life after Round 4.  I have rarely been sick a day in my life, other than the obligatory cold or flu, before my diagnosis. I have found that going through this dis-ease, treatment and the consequent side effects to be disturbingly unfamiliar and horrifically challenging, to understate the case. …