In this emotionally charged season, I find myself withdrawing more and engaging less. As a self-professed news junkie, I was so stricken with the negative energy spewing forth from our nation’s leaders that, yes, even I had to turn off the telly. But as I sit in the echoing silence, it has become abundantly clear that what’s happening in the macrocosm is alive and thriving in the microcosm as well.
Over the last year, we have been victim to some truly atrocious behavior in our own locality. So much so that our anger has raged more at their emotional cruelty than at the actual armed invaders who shot and very nearly killed K. And that tells a tale of how vicious and savage ordinary folks in the neighborhood can be. Where’s Mr. Rogers when you need him? Does he only exist in a Hollywood studio? And to think I used to ridicule that seemingly cartoonish character with his gushing sentimentality. I have found myself longing for a demonstration of his neighborly kind of love in the form of a smile, a hug, and a casserole. Simple gestures that never came.
To distract from these thoughts, I’d turn on CNN again (yes, I am one of those), only to be physically sickened by the lies, betrayals, and corruption of all that I have held dear about our democracy since I was a kid in the ’50’s. All of that vitriol from the national stage has trickled down, apparently. And not just in the good ole US of A…Look at the geopolitical cataclysms around the globe. Where is the love, decency, and compassion that seemed so dominant just a few decades ago? Was I that delusional? Or, despite President Eisenhower’s dire warning in his farewell address, was I so easily manipulated by the corruption of the military-industrial complex that I turned a blind eye? I just want to believe in our humanity, which is more and more difficult in light of the blaring daily headlines.
I meditate and lose myself in my writings, reveling in all that is good in my life. My husband, my dogs, my beautiful home and sanctuary. Our health, and yes, first and foremost the fact that K is alive and recovering from a nearly fatal gunshot wound. Gracias a Dios…I am rich with life’s blessings.
In all of my readings and meditations, I have been reminded time and again of the power of silence. Lashing out and expressing anger or indignation does not beget peace. Gossiping about others’ shortcomings or foibles does not make me a better person. Sitting in harsh judgment is nothing more than a mirror into my own soul.
And lo and behold, as I slowly close the door to negativity and meanspiritedness, new vistas have magically opened. I am reaping some of the rewards of introspection, and vow to stay the course rather than backslide into the morass of deafening depravity.
Pura Vida! 😍 💔
Dec. 14, 2019
Judy Richter 