I feel so disappointed that I am compelled to revisit this topic one more time, especially since I thought that the whole ugly, mean-spirited matter had fizzled out like a defective sparkler on the Fourth of July. K and I have moved on with our lives and have focused our consciousness on the good people and positive energies surrounding us as we continue to heal from our traumas. But, in the last few days, several people asked us what we thought about an article posted on a local real estate site that clearly placed the fault of a recent home invasion on a home owner that attracted the invasion into the neighborhood because of an excessive and lavish life style. Those aren’t the exact words used by this presumably anonymous (?!) writer, but that was, nonetheless, the sentiment heard loud and clear by the readers who shared the details with us. I thought that most reputable sites on today’s social media platforms require total transparency of the identity of contributing writers and at least relative accuracy of the “facts” they spew forth? Is the anonymous writer so cowardly that he lacks the courage of his convictions? Where’s the accountability? I have not read the article, nor do I ever intend to read it. Come to think of it, I can’t help but wonder why a real estate company marketing to a global ex-pat community would disseminate this kind of fear-mongering op-ed to the very market that they are targeting for sales? And even more distressing, I cannot help but wonder how the prominent Tico businessman who was severely beaten and robbed a few days ago feels about being blamed because he lives in a sprawling, beautifully landscaped finca?
It’s a different world today…just look at the recent doctoring of the Pelosi video yesterday that is still widely posted on FB, despite its false and heinous origins. Trump’s insecurities motivate him to blame and villify others. This situation is no different…let’s demonize the innocent victims while the bad guys become an afterthought. What happened to the spirit of coming together in a crisis, of loving your neighbor, despite your differences, no matter how much or how little they may own. There are good, decent people here who want to come together and work towards harmony in an inclusive way. We embrace them!
And yet, I am constantly brought back to the baser instincts of our nature. How is blaming a victim of a home invasion any different than blaming a woman for her rape? Or blaming the Jews for the Holocaust? Or blaming a Guatemalan child for the violence in his country?
Here are some thoughts by more learned sources than I who give more credibility to the notion that victim blaming is nothing more than a reflection of the inadequacies of those doing the blaming…
“Blaming the victim is an act of refuge and self-deception. It allows the blamer to sit in judgment, imagining some mystical justice that means bad things happen only to bad people, thus ensuring their own safety.”
― Una, Becoming Unbecoming
“Justifying a demonic act does not make the actor less demonic; justifying only makes the negator more complicit.”
― Glenn Hefley
“Blame is a Defense Against Powerlessness.” Sandra Lee Dennis
“Our tendency to blame the victim shouldn’t be something we’re proud of, of course. It marginalizes the survivor, minimizes the criminal act, and makes people less likely to come forward and report what has happened to them…Although some instances of victim-blaming undoubtedly originate from ignorance, meanness, or a smug sense of superiority, there may be another, even more significant cause. Specifically, psychologists believe that our tendency to blame the victim may originate, paradoxically, in a deep need to believe that the world is a good and just place.” David B. Feldman Ph.D.
“As a girl, she was a legal prey, especially if she was dressed in a worn black leather jacket and had pierced eyebrows, tattoos, and zero social status.” Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
So, I guess if we remodel our kitchen, or plant indigenous plants on our land rather than dump truckloads of gravel around the house, we are inviting ladrones to come steal from us and put our neighbors in jeopardy? Really? If we were going to play the blame game, which we are not, what about all of the taxis that come and go on a regualar basis (and have been positively identified as perps in multiple other robberies in our town), or the alleged drug activities of some of our neighbors? Are these less likely to attract home invaders than a house remodel? We are done with the finger-pointing and trash-talking of anyone and everyone…we are letting the OIJ do their job and we will trust in the universe that justice will be done. We are praying for all of the victims and naysayers alike…perhaps someday they will find their way back to the light.
Namaste
May. 25, 2019
Judy Richter 