…of who I am. In my meditation this morning, this thought struck a chord deep within me. I have been tested relentlessly lately on how to manage the daily onslaught of human interaction that has clouded my happy, healthy life. I was temporarily paralyzed by the seeming betrayals and breaches of trust by some very near and dear to me. But I just could not tolerate reacting and spiraling down into the all too familiar abyss of hurt and darkness that has served as my refuge for most of my life. I know, I know, as we all know, that others’ actions are not an extension of us, they are a reflection of those doing the acting. We are NOT victims, right? So simple to preach, but so difficult to bring to a clarity and acceptance within our consciousness.
As I process how I am handling life, my attention is now on me. Have I made progress? Am I less of a victim and more of who I am? I have always struggled with OP’s (other peoples’) rationalizations, justifcations, character asassinations, excuses and outright fallacies that feed their courses through life. How can they say that, do that, spin that, lie about that – with a straight face and a clear conscience? This behavioral dynamic seems to be getting worse, not better. The leader of the free world (or should I say the ex-leader since President Xi has filled that recently vacated position) is the poster boy for such cognitive dissonance. But most people survive by creating and exisiting in their own little holodecks, where they don’t have to take responsibilty for their actions, or care what happens to others, so they can very efficiently sort and categorize every action they take to suit their own personal narrative of their greatness and righteousness.
Why does this even matter? It matters to me because in my wellness and spiritual growth, I must consciously redirect so much of life’s onslaught of negativity to avoid internalizing and feeding disease. I want to stay healthy and happy in this bliss I have created in paradise. In order to do that, I need some new filters and conscious cognitive harmony to continue to grow and thrive. I had a dream a few nights ago where someone who I thought was a friend beckoned me to enter a portal to the dark side, insisting that this was the way. The only way. The best way. I could not shake the dread and disease I felt when I awoke, and realized that this was a warning. An epiphany of sorts to continue to walk toward the light. To follow my heart, my intuition, my own sense of where the light is. People come and go in our lives. All have a purpose. Learning when to bless them and release them is imperative to growth. And health. And happiness.
Namaste
Nov. 13, 2017
Judy Richter 