The good (especially the good!), the bad, and the really, really uuuugly. It’s a new year. A chance for a new start in a clean, blank chapter. A chapter full of the promise of joy and laughter and good health. And yet, I have never felt quite so taxed to walk my talk in this new spiritual realm, a realm where my old patterns of dysfunction, denial and disappointment can no longer hide, but must give way to the bright, white light of love and acceptance of the now.
This year, and forever more, I am determined to own AND RELEASE all of those all too familiar, nagging thoughts and doubts. Like why did cancer attack my left breast? Why did my father abandon me when I was eight years old? Why have I attracted more than my fair share of cons and sociopaths? Why, why, why? Or more appropriately, whaa, whaa, whaa. I think at some point we all question the fairness of being dumped upon like that poor, hapless Jobe fellow. But no more. It is my time to own it all and revel in it. I am taking control of my life which includes accepting responsibility for my actions in the past chapters of my life. My need to please and be liked are no longer my life priorities. My need to be kind, decent and loving are, but not to the detriment of my own well-being. Sounds so simple, yet to me so selfish, so not me, so non-co-dependent.
My New Year’s and Life’s Resolution is to find and maintain a healthy balance of nurturing myself with nurturing the world and those around me. I am learning so much about myself, and how my choices can drastically effect my path to happiness, wellness and beyond. My doubts about refusing some meds pushed on me by the Mayo have vanished, as I know my path to health is clear and based on solid, natural choices – unfettered by the fear generated by Big Pharma propoganda. Our food choices are now based on natural alternatives. Sad that natural and healthy food are labeled “alternative” now, but that is the world we live in. Meditation helps clear my mind and quell surging anxiety as my husband and I close this chapter of our lives for the “happily ever after chapter” to come.
So, I can truthfully own that I have not been a perfect person, nor will I always be. But I have love in my heart and intend to live a kind and loving life to the best of my abilities for as long as I am in this body, mind and spirit. I recently painted this picture of roses reaching out from a jagged bullet hole as a commemoration of the Paris attacks last November. But I now see this painting as more than that. I see it as the hope I feel as I leave a violent and uncertain past for a bright and hopeful future.
Namaste to all.
Jan. 30, 2016
Judy Richter 