…what I know now…
It’s a terrible thing to second guess your decisions in life, especially when it concerns removing vital body parts, such as your breasts. I am sharing my thoughts and concerns about lumpectomy vs. mastectomy (double) because I have been faced with this dilemma recently, three years after my diagnosis, and have really agonized over whether I made the right decision for me (lumpectomy).
It’s a great thing that female celebrities are going public with their breast cancer diagnoses, if for no other reason than to help us common folk destigmatize the whole ordeal and become more proactive about treatment. However, most (all) of the reports that I have seen/read lately involve the celebrity opting for mastectomies (make that a double, please). I cannot help but think, did I make a mistake?
Without going into detail beyond my knowledge and expertise, or attempting to practice medicine without a licence, I did the research and talked at length with my physicians at the Mayo to help me make my decision. I learned that older surgeons (and because I tend to be cynical, more avaricious types) will always recommend mastectomy over lumpectomy, which was the standard of care until the mid-1980’s. My case was a strong argument for lumpectomy because we had caught it early and the tumor was small (relatively speaking). In my case, it turned out that I had an extremely virulent type of cancer cell (Her2Neu), which can spread like a wildfire in August. So, my docs recommended a whole year of chemo just to make sure that that dreaded cell had been eradicated everywhere in my body. Since I had to undergo chemo no matter what, I chose to keep my breasts. Both of them.
Perhaps TMI for most except those facing this dilemma in their lives now (for whom I am writing this). But a double mastectomy? If I had it to do all over again, would I have avoided the torture of surgery, radiation and chemo, along with the hideous and debilitating side effects? Such as hair loss (which in my case is ever so slow to recover), lopsided boobs (only detectable naked and only my husband knows for sure), nail deterioration, loss of skin tone, loss of self esteem, etc. etc? Perhaps for pure vanity’s sake I would have opted for a double dose of decapitation had I not had that horrible cell type. Who am I kidding?! Of course I would have, and medicine (including insurance) would have wholeheartedly supported that decision. I would be walking around with a cup size of my choice, perfectly matched, and beautiful long hair (with no bald spots), long, healthy nails and a recovery time a fraction of what I went through, and still am, truth be told. Does that make me a bad person? It surely makes me a vain one…ahhh, such transparency may be good for the soul, but try not to judge me too harshly.
Love and light…
Jun. 24, 2015
Judy Richter 