I got such a lovely email yesterday from an old friend that it literally jolted me out of my self indulgent wallow on the dark side. I am back to my “the best that it gets” phase of chemo, and I need to celebrate the positive, every singly minute of it! So, I immediately poured a glass of Malbec, and after the first horrid few swallows, enjoyed the warmth of the wine and the mellowness that descended upon me. I find the chemo effects to be cumulative, both physically and psychologically. This last round sent me into a funk that had me fear for my future as an agoraphobic habitual complainer. Oi vey! Enough kevetching, already. If chemo is Satan, then the side effects are the little devils that wreak havoc on every conscious moment. These side effects are really annoying, such as raw rashes that erupt out of nowhere, spontaneous nosebleeds, and rheumy, watery eyes. But enough of that! I have a full week to be normal and hopefully a little creative. I had thrown a mini tantrum over my latest water color creationss, and was ready to give it up forever before reason returned. I am painting as therapy, not as a source of income for my retirement years (thank heavens!) I am grateful that my sister by choice, Annie, is flying in from back East next week to hold my hand through Round 5 while my husband is traveling. I have tried to prepare her for how not fun I am going to be, but she seems fine with that. It is a blessing to have people who love you rally when it is most needed. In order to celebrate the rest of my day, I am going to see the movie “Side Effects”. I thought that choice was transcendently appropriate, in the “my problems are better than yours” department. Love and light!
Feb. 20, 2013
Judy Richter 