Or, hopefully, out of the fog. I seem to fade into and out of what we commonly refer to and experience as reality. Reality as in rising in the am, taking a shower, eating breakfast, checking emails and voicemails (always and often!), and then carrying on with the marching orders of the day. In these last few weeks I have been existing more and more in an alternate reality, a reality that is blurry, where clocks are irrelevant, and “staying in touch” fades to the far away distance. I have been wresling with the chemo demon, as the next treatment looms. I fear the poisons that flow into my body. I know they are necessary, that they are curative and preventative, but it just seems so wrong. So, I need to constantly and consciously adjust my mind and spirit to embrace the treatments into my journey, to take the challenge of more tolerance and less suffering, to bless and love the process. Not the easiest mindset to genuinely believe and nurture, but that is my destiny, my journey and my goal for the day.
Feb. 4, 2013
Judy Richter 